I feel depressed today.  I've been feeling depressed most days because of the loss of my marriage and the point I'm at in my life due to choices I made that I thought were for the best.  I decided to get my MBA rather than my MD so I could be here for my wife, who is in the military.  It's a choice I would have never made on my own and isn't exactly what I want for myself.  I will find a way to make it all work though.  I've been feeling like everything is over and like my wife isn't willing to put in the work to continue with our marriage.  It's been exhausting trying to stay on top of work and school with everything going on mentally.  I need to find strength from within to hold it all together for my kids and I.  I just have no motivation to do anything.  My house is becoming a bit of a mess.  Reading this now, I feel like I've been putting too much into her choices in my ability to be happy at this point.  Again, uncertainty is hard for me especially when it's something I hold dear.  I feel like I'm watching the slow and painful death of a beloved one.  I hold on to hope that our love will survive but for now, I have to watch in agony as everything I've held so dear slips away.  The only thing I have control over is my attitude and frankly, I haven't been doing a good job of controlling how I feel.  I'm drowning.