Hey Kie,

It's been two months now since you've been gone.  I miss you and love you.  I wish that I could crawl into your head to figure out what you're feeling and how I can help.  I know that this all needs to be figured out on your time, so I won't push you or bother you with how I'm feeling.  I understand that you're overwhelmed and just now trying to sort things out.  I will be here for you forever.  I am your wife and I'm doing my best.  Sometimes I visualize you picking up the phone and making an appointment with Ben.  I wish I could make you do it, but I know you have to do it when you're ready.  I'm praying that today will be the day you decide to make a change for yourself and for us.  I know it's hard for you.  I'm busy working hard and doing all of the things that terrify me.  I'm sending you all the healing energy and all of the strength that is left in me.  You are the one.  Even though I've been hurt in all of this a million times over.  You are my heart.