Things not working out with Kierra was the best thing that ever happened to me.  So I guess getting raped might have been the best thing that ever happened to me.  I know that's not quite right but let's go for that for now.  I can be happy now.  Truly, living my best live, my sweet sweet dreams kind of happy.

Words that describe me:
Caring
Strong
Determined
Laid Back
Dreamer
Magical
Hopeful
Forgiving
Fierce
Cool
Sincere

So, I was raped.  It's been close to a year ago.  What has that meant for me?  It would probably be wrong to say that everything happens for a reason at this point, but maybe everything did.  I'll start from today and go backwards.
I am dating this woman named Lisa.  She enjoys doing things for me.  She is good at showing me that she loves me.  Sometimes I am overwhelmed by joy when I think about her.  She is beautiful and is a good person.  Like, everything I could wish for.  That's who she is.  I am feeling blessed.
My job.  Is not what I pictured myself doing but it's a good job.  I'm making more money than I ever have in the past and I have been able to afford some really nice things.  I don't have to worry about money anymore.  I'm not a huge fan of sitting in a cube all day long, but I am providing and I enjoy what I do generally.
I am going to school for finance.  I decided that I want to get into investment banking and make a lot of money so that I can funnel it to doing good.  I am getting my masters.  My parents didn't make it past 6th grade.  I am blessed.
My kids are doing well.  They had a hard time at first with Kierra leaving, but they are getting back on track.  They are my backbone and my tribe.  I love them more than anything.
6 months ago my wife left.  3 months ago I met Lisa.  The time in between was unbearable.  I was so heartbroken and hurt.  I blamed Kierra for who she is as a person, which I can't do.  Yes it hurt but it's proof of who she is.  It was a strange thing.  She drifted farther and farther away until she was gone.  Faded herself from my life and from the lives of my children.  I was disillusioned but now I see reality for what it is.  It was a rude awakening.
I was raped almost a year ago.  Kierra blamed me, she couldn't wrap her head around it.  She became the victim.  I took care of her rather than even thinking about taking care of myself.  I had no home to run to.  No warmth.  It wore on me.  It sucked.  I didn't deal with it until recently.  The rape shattered my life but opened by eyes to truths.
The truths:
My marriage stood on unstable ground- Keirra could have never been the person I needed her to be
There are shitty people in the world
Violence against women is real
Rape culture is unacceptable
I can survive and thrive in any circumstance- I am strong!
Even when I don't have the support of my partner, I have my friends and family

To summarize.  I was raped and as a result, my wife left me.  I got to see her true character and I'm glad that I did sooner than later.  Our marriage was short, but long enough to teach me lessons about what I want from a relationship and the dangers of not being vulnerable.  I found that my family and friends are important and most of all that I am strong.  I can come out of any situation better than I entered it.  I am awake now.  I am aware of rape culture and disparities against women. I have a new, healthy relationship and I am able to be a better mother, partner and friend.

Ben,

I have been really focusing on my relationship or lack thereof.  I feel heartbroken that she has left our family.  I constantly think of her.  What she's thinking, my hurt, her hurt.  Things she's said.  It feels unhealthy.

Ugh, I'm feeling very depressed...  Kierra told me that she's not in love with me yesterday.  I know she needs to get help to figure things out and we both need healing.  I need to work on myself and it's only been two months.  Stop being sad Jenny, you're strong and everything is going to be okay.

Hey Kie,

It's been two months now since you've been gone.  I miss you and love you.  I wish that I could crawl into your head to figure out what you're feeling and how I can help.  I know that this all needs to be figured out on your time, so I won't push you or bother you with how I'm feeling.  I understand that you're overwhelmed and just now trying to sort things out.  I will be here for you forever.  I am your wife and I'm doing my best.  Sometimes I visualize you picking up the phone and making an appointment with Ben.  I wish I could make you do it, but I know you have to do it when you're ready.  I'm praying that today will be the day you decide to make a change for yourself and for us.  I know it's hard for you.  I'm busy working hard and doing all of the things that terrify me.  I'm sending you all the healing energy and all of the strength that is left in me.  You are the one.  Even though I've been hurt in all of this a million times over.  You are my heart.  

Hey girls.  I just want to say that we love you both more than anything in the whole world.  Kierra and I have been unhappy for a while and have not been able to treat each other the way that we both need to be treated.  We feel that it would be the best choice at this point to live apart and get a divorce.  Do you have any questions or thoughts?  I just want to let you know that we are both here for you and we want to hear about how you're feeling through all of this.  All I know for certain is that things in life don't always happen like you would have hoped.  And when things go wrong, we have to feel our feelings, talk about them until they feel a little better and find strength from our experiences and move forward with love and kindness.  I promise that this will work out for the best and we will all be happy in the long run.